Today has most definitely been horrible.  What's the point of Thanksgiving if your own family doesn't even want to spend time with you?  All I wanted was a couple of hours of your time, but that was too much to ask.  What's the point in trying to explain your feelings when they're just going to ball them up and just throw them back in your face?  My family used to be the one place I felt comfortable, but now I feel like I'm not even a part of this family anymore.  Obviously, what I do isn't good enough.  I'm selfish and I don't want anyone else to be happy.  Fuck it all.  I just don't care anymore.  I'm tired of trying to explain myself.  I should have just stayed home.  I'd much rather spend the whole weekend in bed doing absolutely nothing than be here in this house full of tension.  When does my happiness begin?  I wish I had someone to talk to...